Am Fib Ali

In response to and inspired by InYaChest's video entitled, "The DUMBEST LIES men tell".
Men lie, women lie, we all lie to different degrees.... but when men lie, they do so horribly and at the dumbest things. Just be real. This is Am Fib Ali:

His charisma seized me;
Boastful struts towards my direction.
His words were crafted
To captivate my total attention.

Paragraphs filled with glam,
Making claims to make one gawk.
Yet, I quickly realized,
It's all just pretentious talk.

My mm-hms and uh-huhs
Filled between his pauses and rests.
Womp Womp Womp Wua.......
His voice faded, along with my interest.

Why start off with lies,
Of possessions and pseudo-success
Like I'm some dummy,
Vulnerable to petty attempts to impress.

That's ok, I'll move
"On to the next one"

My phone chimed twice
Announcing a text message arrival.
"Boo, I miss you"
Like I'm Jane stranded in a jungle.

Boy, didn't we just speak?!
Do, tell! What exactly do you miss?
Words need to be verified;
How 'bout you add action to the mix.

He professes, "I love you,"
After just a week- what insanity!
Intuition kicks in,
I sense deceit via ambiguity

The truth will prevail
Sweet nothings draw to one conclusion-
Nothing-- but motives
To taint my "sweetness" with seduction.

It echoes through my head,
"Baby, you know you're the only one"
He began to call me Tia--
Caught himself, then ended with, "Hun"

For how many seconds
Does that statement hold true?
Or am I the only one,
When I'm standing in front of you?

I thought you were smart;
You thought you were too,
Which made you mistake me
For some type of fool.

Each time you lie,
I tally it up in my head.
Strike one, strike two...
I'm fed up of being misled.

Skip Strike 3,
You're out! Enough of your quibble!
Take your things,
'N here's a Kleenex for the dribble....

2011

*Poem by Lex*

P.S. The title of this poem is a mere phonetic break down of the word Amphiboly to create an emphasis on the word Fib.

That Moody Juice

Sometimes its hard to pinpoint what exactly you are feeling..... Everything contributes to your mood. Written back in 2008, this is That Moody Juice:

Mixed emotions
Stir within me
Like a blender.
The big chunks diminish
Into a mushed up paste
Thinner and thinner.

Can no longer tell
One from the other.
What is this?
What am I feeling?

I no longer know.
I know the ingredients
But cannot distinguish
Them from the mix.
Separate them I cannot,
Now they are one.

This chemical bond,
Scientists don't know
How to separate.
This physical bond,
Too strong to pry
Many fail when they try.

So leave it as it is.
Don't water it down,
Drink it as it is.
With its richness,
Its thickness,
And its "mmm mmm good"ness

These emotions supply
My tank when it's on E.
When there's nowhere to turn,
I go crazy
Cause my tank is full
From that blended beverage.

2008
*Poem by Lex*

Now Accepting Applications

Keep in mind this poem was written when I was 18 in 2008 and felt like moving on from a relationship that went sour. I was "Now Accepting Applications".... and always until a man wed mi up.

Its that time again
When my staff is insufficient
Actually, a lil less than insufficient
It's more like non-existent

I have no one in that position
The most important one to be filled
Duties include running errands
Ranging from boring to extra thrilled

Yes, the sign is now up.
The big "Now Hiring" here
Just take an application
And fill it out with care

Don't write to please me
Nor write to simply fill in blanks
Be truthful on the form
'Cause honesty isn't stored in banks

Start at the top of the page
Your REAL and complete name please
Include birth date and social security
And don't forget, include any disease

All of the above are necessary
All of the above I need
If you don't provide ALL info
I will discard it and it I'll never read

I'm sorry to inform you
This job must go unpaid
If you are lucky to get the position
Love and memories will be our trade

What position is open?
Why is this application so important to send?
I'm asking single Males age 20 and up
How'd you like to be my full-time Boyfriend?


2008
*Poem by Lex*

P.S. the minimum age for applicants is always 2 years above my current age. :)

My Kind of Kind

This is a poem dedicated for those who feel as though they can't be nice to anyone in fear that their kindness will be abused and taken for weakness. We all been through the feeling of being grumpy and completely selfish because we are too proud to allow anyone to see any signs of weakness. This is My Kind of Kind:

My kindness is a weakness,
If you were to ask me.
Cause my heart is meek
For those who ask
And are eager to seek
Whatever I have to offer
(Even though I can't spare a dollar)
I can afford to forgive.
The cost is cheap;
Chump change if I may say.
Since my heart is so weak,
It can not carry the burden
From the stress a matter can strain.
People should return to Earth -
Down, from their high peaks.
Don't they know strength
Isn't needed to turn the other cheek?
I rather let it all go
Let my kindness be taken for weakness
So my dear heart
Can abandon the load.
That's my kind of kind.

2011
BlaqueMeramaid
*Poem by Lex*

Too Late to Apologize

Waiting for a well deserved apology is a waste of time; sorry doesn't cut it. WARNING: for those with a vivid imagination, one part may be disturbing. Enjoy! :) This was written back in 08. Just know, it's Too Late to Apologize:

OoOoO... I know you sorry now
Did you drop the soap yet?
Bend over and let the feeling penetrate
Reality can make you hallucinate

You can be sorry all you want
Beg on knees if you please
But its "too late to apologize"
Whether or not you realize

But "I'm sorry" wasn't on your agenda
At least not since the alpha from you to me
You gave the judge in the court more love
And made sure to contest the size of the glove

Now I know you feeling it
Something isn't sitting right
In the depths of your soul
Makes you feel like loosing control

Its the Redemption Song
Seeking to escape
From your lips to my ear
Singing Boys II Men, "I swear"

You may still be blinded
From all the hearsay you hear
But let me give you some advise
Don't mix your senses but think twice

My mind and heart are feuding
Truly a game of Tug of War
Over you and where I stand on the issue
'Cause what I had for you was honestly true.

2008
*Poem by Lex*

Thinking 'Bout You

In dedication to the people that have this spectacular, mind boggling ability to makes everything about themselves. Everything is allegedly for their benefit, all thi time, according to them. This poem written back in 2009 goes out to you, I'm still Thinking 'Bout You:

There you go again
Doing wha you do best
Thinkn bout you.
I think about you
Why do we need two?
Two brains shouldn't be thinkin bout you.
Can you use your energy to think bout me?
You can but you choose not to
You prefer to think about you
The most important thing in this world
In your mind, low and behold: You
Reality is... there is no you
Without us, the rest of this world
So put us into consideration
at least sometimes
at least me
I feel I deserve that
at least that
So my request
Is plain and simple:
In addition to thinking bout you
Can you think bout me too?

2009
*Poem by Lex*

Why??

Even when I try not to fit the description of a stereotypical female, I can't always resist the instinct. We always want to know why; we bawl out why, if not out-loud definitely in our heads. This poem is an explosion back in 2008 from the overload of "why?"s being held in for too long... this is Why??:

So many times I sit thinking
Asking myself over and over again
Why?
Why did I allow him to get the best of me?
Now because of him, the truth I cannot see,
These streets I walk aimlessly
Thinking of what I could have been.
If he wasn't for so long my everything.
My morning, my noon, and my evening
Were drowned in thoughts of only him.
My dreams darkened by his evil grin
At the time I thought was so enticing.

So many times I sit crying
Tears run away from my brown eyes screaming
Why?
Why do I allow him to get the best of me?
His name I shouldn't utter in my testimony
He's not in school books but he is history
From a distance both miles and years away
His affect rocks my calm spirit like an earthquake
My body shakes and my eyes rotate side to side
Wondering if he found another place to hide
And come from the back like a surprise
To reveal to me his untimely devise

So many times I sit writing
The word that comes to mind a thousand times
Why?
Why did I allow this to happen?
I try to record it on paper and with pen.
Reading back this unreal contraption
Halts the gears in my brain from function
Turning this world into an illusion.
Its realities, to my thoughts, are intrusions
I'd prefer to shorten it like a conjunction
Skip straight to the point and reduce the pollution.
But life's journey needs problems to have solutions.

This time I will stand
To be exact, I will do what I can to understand
Why.
Why I will no longer allow him to get the best of me.
Always comparing to the Jones' lawn
Isn't supposed to wake me up at dawn
But I let it... trying to find out their secret
To make the grass green and how to keep it
But all the variables in between I leave out
Like not taking into consideration the drought
So now I will devote my time to watering my grass
Instead of thinking bout him while sitting on my ass.
No longer I will ask why... but I will Stand

2008
*Poem by Lex*

Valentine's Day

When Valentine's Day comes around and you are still in the beginning of a new relationship, things can get a bit awkward. You don't want to do too much, but you don't want to do too little; you gotta meet somewhere in the middle at "just right". This was written back in 2009 for my Valentine's guy:

Today is a day set aside to show love,
To express a feeling that puts you above
The clouds in the sky, the burdens from this earth,
And all the heartache piled on from the day of your birth.

I'm not writing this as a sappy poem
So you can squint and think for you I'm fallin.
I just wanted you to know that I do appreciate
The small things you do to make me feel great.

I appreciate the time you take for me
Like to talk, to cook, to write, and to be
In your arms, your bed, and your self-induced luxury.
Your time shared with me shows your courtesy.

And for that, I say to you Happy Valentine's Day.
February 14th, reserved for the lovers to play
But I see it as a day set aside for us
To embrace who we are, as we are, minus the lust.

2009
*Poem by Lex*

Trapped Vision

This is a poem I wrote after making a nice purchase during my winter break from school.  Hopefully, after reading this, you'll understand what that purchase was.  (If not, my job is unfinished) Enjoy! This is... Trapped Vision:

Something within mi
Is trying to kill mi,
Trying to squash
Every aspect of my life.
Its feeding
On my thoughts,
Its sucking my blood
Directly from my heart.
Doctors can't identify it
Since it, technology
Can never detect,
Med schools have plenty books,
Yet none mention this.
Almost like a self-sentence
Yet no one knows I'm in jail.
So no one pays a visit
Or puts up bond for my bail.
The judge that imprisoned me
Looks so pretty yet familiar.
I see her everyday
That I look in the mirror.
What kind of spirit is this?
I'd rather not be concerned,
Since the more I think
It feeds
Growing larger
Doubling in size
Each time
It takes a bite
My thoughts, never to return.
Within mi it lives
Taking up residency
I wish someone will tell it
Get out!
No room! No vacancy!
Where have you come from?
Please return at once!
It had the audacity to speak back
In the same pitch as mine
Nonchalantly being exact:
"I live within everyone
All who invite me in.
The portal was left open,
On your t.v. screen.
I am the light behind the picture
The light you ignore.
I am the one who keeps you company
On nights you're filled with bore.
I am that light that curls your lips
Going up, and even down.
You should thank me for emotion
Instead you treat me like some clown.
You enjoy my entertainment
Cause you always beg for more.
Like a drug you are addicted,
If I am sex, you are a whore.
Try to rid you of me if you must
But I ensure you will fail
I'm attached to your vitals
Cut me and you too will ail.
From where I come
There's no return.
You should be delighted to hear.
Together, we have lots to learn.
We'll reenact everything
That which you see, and overhear
And for that which you don't see
Don't worry...
Your sub-conscience sees crystal clear.
And do, don't over think these theory's
They just clutter my plate."
I can't believe my ears!
Is this my fate?!
I guess this is why
The caged bird sings
To conceal its misery
From the pain
That aches and lives,
With no known remedy.

BlaqueMeramaid 2011

*Poem by Lex*